All I Want for Christmas… Is the Epstein List | Roastmas™ Card by From the Depths of My Dysfunction

This isn’t your grandma’s Christmas card.
For the ones who want more than cookies and carols — they want answers.

“All I Want for Christmas Is the Epstein List” is the card that says what everyone else is thinking but too scared to print. With elegant design, dark humor, and a dash of justice, it’s perfect for truth-seekers, holiday rebels, and that one friend who always brings up the news at dinner.

Printed on premium 270gsm paper, this card pairs luxury with dysfunction — because even chaos deserves high-quality cardstock. Includes envelope for mailing or… archiving.

🪄 Product Features:

• Premium 270gsm paper with vivid, lasting color

• Available in multiple finishes and sizes

• Includes envelope

• Printed front and inside for full-impact Roastmas energy

• Perfect gag gift or dark-humor stocking stuffer

💌 Optional Personalization:

Add your own inside message, signature, or sarcastic twist. Custom requests accepted (+20% markup).

🧹 Care Instructions:

Wipe gently with a soft, dry cloth — or store it where the light can’t reach you.